College Orientation

I've just finished my last of five separate orientations for our five children who have, or will, attend the University of Alabama. Our twins had separate schedules for orientation, which meant that I attended two separate sessions for them. One of the best parts of each orientation occurred in the closing sessions. The speakers talked about the adjustment from living at home to becoming more self-sufficient. The adjustment is a two-way street. There is surely an adjustment for the student, but sometimes it's a bigger adjustment for the parent.

The irony for me was how similar those adjustments were to those needed when a business owner considers how to transfer power and responsibility from one generation to another. There were three main points presented by the speakers, which I thought were very apropos.

First, if the student has bad study habits, poor time-management skills or sloppy housekeeping habits before leaving for school, those habits will not suddenly change. Conversely, if the student has good study habits, a good understanding of the value of time and budgeting, and an appreciation for neatness, there is every reason to believe that those habits will continue.

Second, in many cases, students will be interacting with non-family members for the first time, on their own. In fact, a large number of incoming freshman will become roommates with someone they've never even met. Nowadays, at least they will have some time to "discover" more about their new roommate through Facebook, MySpace and all of the other social sites. The University takes that one step further and offers the roommates a written agreement, which forces the students to agree, ahead of time, on such issues as quiet times, how late the lights stay on, who can visit, best study habits for each, how clean and tidy the room will be kept, and on and on...

Third, and my favorite, was the independence of the new student from the parent. The speakers made it clear that some levels of independence should have already been practiced at home. It seems that in many cases, it's not the student rejecting their new "freedom", it's the parent(s) who seem to be unable to let go. There is a great article in the June 27, 2009 online edition of U. S. News and World Report that explains how to stay involved, but not become a "helicopter" parent. http://www.usnews.com/blogs/professors-guide/2009/04/17/how-not-to-be-a-helicopter-parentbut-still-be-a-parent.html#2692915 That parent stands ready to swoop in and solve whatever little problem their child has, denying that child the opportunity to grow and learn from their own experience.

Since I speak on family business succession, you can clearly see how translatable this information is in my specialty. As a third-generation business owner myself, and the father of five children, I can vouch for the similarity of the challenges of sending your children off to college, and planning the successful transfer of control from one generation to the next in the family business.

If the heir to the presidency of a small business has not shown the maturity and responsibility necessary for leadership prior to taking over, the chances are almost nil that suddenly those qualities will appear.

Even when people assume they know everything about those close to them, a change in circumstances can expose traits never before noticed. That is why the University offers a written document that forces students to answer questions which may expose differing expectations. That is even more important in closely-held family businesses.

In case after case, one of the most difficult challenges in family businesses is how and when to allow the "freedom to fail" to become a tool in the development of the successor. It's a long-term process, but in order to have real growth, there must be some level of trust and responsibility meted out in appropriate doses. That will be different in every situation, but it is absolutely necessary.

My wife, Lane, and I have learned so much from watching our three oldest children navigate the ups and downs of college life. We look forward with excitement and anticipation to the challenges awaiting our twin daughters as they begin their journey. The lessons mentioned during their orientations certainly are applicable to the successful transition of family businesses from generation to generation.

Please add whatever comments you have about either process...I look forward to hearing about your experiences or thoughts!